
This stuff is actually affordable here.

Well I’ve cleared customs! Now onto that interpretive dance…
Although, this leads to a lot of confusion. You’ll talk to some travelers who say “Oh, I’ve been to Paris several times,” naturally you reply: “Nice, what did you think of the Louvre?” Then, they reluctantly respond: “I was just in the airport for a layover for a couple of hours, but coming and going, so that counts as two times in France!” To alleviate the ensuing argument of whether they have been to France or not, I have included an excerpt from the International Standard for Scratching a Country Off of One’s List (ISSCOOL). It states, according to Section A Sub-Paragraph 3.15c, and I quote: “One may not officially scratch a country off of one’s list until these three criteria are met: (1) Said individual must clear customs and exit the airport premises. (2) The traveler in question must, and we repeat, must sample the staple cuisine of said country. (3) It is imperative that said traveler take part in an interpretive dance of the Overture of 1812 by Tchaikovsky or similar festival overture in e♭major”…do we need to go on?

Even their airplanes are decorated with their famed Tapa design.

Fiji Fact #257: Tekiteki is the practice of putting a flower in ones hair that signifies marital status and sometimes where one is from on the Island.
I was on my way to Melbourne, Australia and my layover was in Nadi (Pronounced Nahn-dee, for whatever reason) located on the southern island, Viti Levu. Traveling with a large group to attend a convention, I asked the other Americans what they were doing for their layover in the beautiful country of Fiji. It turns out, most booked their tickets in a way that their layover only lasted 2 hours, lame. They would probably go on to be those people who would tell you that they’ve been to Fiji ‘several’ times, when in reality, they’ve spent all of 4 hours there, never even breathing the fresh air of Fiji (trust me, the air in that airport was anything but fresh. I mean come on shouldn’t they have a cleaner ventilation system. That is why they call it an ‘air’port right?).

Definitely my favorite way to zip around Fiji.
Lastly, there was a third group who purposely extended their layovers so that they could galavant with the locals and truly experience this foreign land. As I said earlier, there was an international convention going on in Australia, and because of that, there was a small group of Fijians waiting at the airport entrance to welcome the few brave souls that wanted to venture into the Fijian ‘outback’ before going on to their final destination.

Though taking the adventurous route may require you to be thrown around in the back of a pickup at warp speed. You can’t ‘ouch’ beat ‘ouch’ the view!

Since not many Fijians own their own vehicle. There are various forms of public transport.

Typical Fijian house—This is where I ate breakfast!

This is the area that most people go when they ‘explore’ Fiji.—Port Denarau
Nothing was made in China, (no offense China, when I visit you, I’ll only be looking for things ‘Made in China’. I promise.) little burlap bags of various Fijian exports (coffee, tea, sugar, etc.) and native Tapa cloth galore! With the excellent exchange rate at the time (almost 2-1), I promptly loaded up my backpack (on the way back home, of course, since I knew I had room).

My souvenir of choice…
After blowing most of my Fijian dollars (excluding my carefully calculated food and souvenir currency reserve) we proceeded to drop by every business where our tour guides had friends/relatives that were employees (which was just about every place you can think of). All the while using various types of transportation. Sometimes it was a bus, other times it was a taxi, and (just to show off their diverse assortment of transport methods) the back of a pickup truck. One of our stops was a coffee shop where I literally got a bowl of Cappuccino for the equivalent of $2.50, a far cry from the exorbitant prices of Australia, where I believe the going rate is $5 per half teaspoon. (Although, that half teaspoon was the best half teaspoon of coffee I’ve ever tasted.)

My delicious bowl of Cappuccino

These coconuts taste like garlic and apples. Maybe some people like that combination…And as always: “When in doubt, pinky out”

Don’t worry the shell is just for looks!
Editor’s note: Sheep Train Thrombosis (STT) is a fatal disease that causes the death of countless railbound sheep each year. If you think you could have Sheep Train Vehiculosis, consult a doctor/veterinarian to determine whether you are at risk. Side effects may include: Wooly Ear, Trainophobia (fear of wolves), uncontrollable Baa-ing, and in some cases death.
*Calm down, I’m just joking.